You may be self-sabotaging but don’t know it. Public Speaker and Author, Sam Cawthorn, reveals the unlikely ways you’re doing it.
Hi guys! Sam Cawthorn here.
This video is all about how we self-sabotage and particularly how we self-sabotage our own confidence and certainty. A lot of the time, it can actually be a blind spot. The one thing that I believe is that no one is better than anyone else and no one is actually lower or above anyone else. We are all created equal.
Yet, a lot of the time, we self-sabotage ourselves. We think that other people are better than us, we actually think that we’re lower than other people or vice versa. So, I actually believe that a lot of the time, the way that we self-sabotage ourselves is actually unconscious.
The Six Reasons
Today I’m actually going to give you six individual reasons why we self-sabotage our confidence and our certainty. And the reason why I’m putting this video together is that I believe right now, it’s time for you to win back your confidence and your certainty.
There might have been something back in your previous life, or maybe back in the past, where maybe someone put you down and maybe that affected you. Or maybe you lost some money or you lost a job, and maybe that affected you.
Maybe there’s a relationship breakdown or maybe there was an issue where you couldn’t earn the money, and that affected you. And then suddenly now, it’s been a subconscious thing that were self-sabotaging our own confidence and our own certainty.
So this video here i’m actually gonna give you six reasons why we self-sabotage our own confidence and certainty, and then give you some insights and actually how you can change that immediately and fast-track yourself to success. Because i believe success is all about confidence and certainty in who you are and what you were born to do on this planet
1. WE PLAY IT SMALL
So the first reason why we self-sabotage our confidence and certainty is that we play it small. What I mean by this is sometimes, we actually don’t see our greatness. You know one gift that I’ve actually been given is being futuristic. This basically means that I can actually see what’s possible in people’s lives.
It’s not like some supernatural gift or anything like that. There’s actually a thing which is called the Clifton Strengths Finder. It’s a survey that Gallop have actually done 80 years of research in. And so if you do this particular assessment you actually then get your top five core strengths, and my number one in futuristic, which basically means that i can see what’s possible in people’s lives. A lot of the times, these people actually don’t see it. They play it small and by playing it small for a long period of time. They actually do not see their own greatness and they don’t see what’s possible in their life.
A lot of these is actually shown through nonverbal cues. For me, I can see it through your gestures through the way that you hold yourself or your physiology through your facial expressions. I can see when someone actually is playing it small, and these are things that we need to change.
2. WE’RE STUCK IN ‘STUCKNESS’
The second area is how we self sabotage our confidence and certainty is because we are stuck in ‘stuckness.’ What I mean by that is a lot of the time, we get stuck in a rat race.
We get stuck in a bad relationship, we get stuck in a bad job, we get stuck in financial situation, we get stuck in things that we just have to do, we get stuck in our own responsibilities, and so on and so forth.
We just get stuck in stuckness and with that, it’s difficult to take risks because if you take risks, then it might upset the current status quo, it might upset financial situations or relationship breakdown; it might upset something that’s really happening.
So we get so stocking stuckness that we actually can’t see a way out of it. We physically can’t see it.
3. OUR EYES GIVE IT AWAY
The third way how we self sabotage our confidence and our certainty? It’s in our eyes. Our eyes give it all away. When we’re around people that are really confident – really certain – we tend to self-sabotage the way that we connect with this person a lot of the time through our eyes. When we see someone who’s really confident, we can’t look that person in the eye for a longer period of time. We feel inferior to them, we allow them, in a way, to bully us through their eyes.
So I’m encouraging you to actually start being comfortable with looking in people’s eyes, being comfortable with having a level of confidence and certainty that comes through your eyes.
4. WE’RE INCONGRUENT WITH OUR CONVICTION
The fourth reason why we self-sabotage our confidence and our certainty is that we are incongruent with our conviction. What I mean by this is this: What is it that you really were born to do on this planet? What is that thing that lights your fire? Is that thing that is bigger than you? What is that one big thing that you know that you should be doing on this planet but you actually forgot about?
My encouragement to you is to find what you need to do to start being congruent with who you are. Because we can sense it, we can feel it – we can sense and we can feel when someone is incongruent with what they doing and with what they’re saying.
We can sense when someone is convicted or not – we can sense when someone is totally convicted with what they’re saying. There’s a level of passion and authenticity, there’s a level of energy that’s on them. But when they’re incongruent, you can actually just sense it, you can feel it.
5. WE APOLOGISE TOO MUCH
The fifth reason why we self-sabotage our confidence and our certainty is that we apologize too much. It’s true. Now don’t get me wrong; I fully believe that we need to say sorry when we’ve done something wrong. And it takes a great leader in order to admit that they have done something wrong.
What I mean by apologizing too much is when we are around confident and certain people, we tend to – a lot of the time in our mind we think, ‘Oh, I hope this person likes what I’m wearing;’ ‘I hope this person likes what I said,’ ‘I hope this person is OK with what I’m doing.’ So in a way we’re sort of asking for permission subconsciously to this confident and certain person. We’re apologizing to them in a way. We’re apologizing to them, and this actually goes back to my previous video which is actually being unapologetically you.
That you don’t need to try and seek people’s approval, that you don’t need to try and fit in, that you don’t need to try and look good or avoid looking bad or anything at all like that. But a lot of the time, we self-sabotage our confidence and our certainty by apologizing too much. I’m not saying that we actually verbally say that we’re apologizing but some consciously we do because we seek people’s approval and their permission. We try to fit in, we try to look good, and we try to avoid looking bad.
6. WE ARE SCARED OF BEING TOO LARGE
Now the sixth reason of why we self-sabotage our confidence and our certainty is that we are scared of being too large. We’re scared of getting too big. Marianne Williamson says it beautifully and even Nelson Mandela quotes out, and she goes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Most people think that our deepest fear is that we are inadequate, we don’t have the skills, we don’t have the talent, we don’t know have the expertise. But she says that our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Beyond measure. I love that.
It basically means that deep down inside, there’s something inside of us that says we are destined for greatness; there’s something inside us that says there is more to me, there’s a purpose, there’s a destiny of what I’m here on the planet for. And, in a way, we’re scared of that. We’re scared of being too large because if we grwo too big, if we say too big things, then we might look bad if we don’t achieve it, and we avoid looking bad. By that, we’re actually scared of being too large.
You know, in in most cases, this is one of the biggest issues for humanity today. That we all want to look good and we all want to avoid looking bad. And by that, we’re actually scared of being too large.
So my encouragement for you guys is with all of these six individual ways of how we self-sabotage our confidence and certainty, what do you need to do to turn this around? What do you need to do to literally say, ‘Hey! Look, this will no longer be in my life.’ Maybe it’s a declaration. Maybe it’s something that you look at every single day, you declare over yourself each and every day.
So guys again, I really hope that you guys have loved this video. If you want, you’re welcome to share it, like it, give me comments – maybe I missed something.